Motherself

This past weekend my husband and I decided to take the kids to the beach for a “family vacation”. I put these words in quotes because sometimes I think the two words don’t belong anywhere near each other in a phrase. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of wonderful things about traveling with children. My heart swelled watching my 15 month old learn to walk along the sand, carrying a pail over his shoulder. I laughed aloud seeing my 3.5 year old chasing the seagulls and jumping the waves in the ocean. Experiencing new things with children is truly amazing– it is like we get to experience them for the first time too.

But, vacation? No, vacation it was not. When I think vacation, I think vacation mind, the wandering, lazy mind I used to get when lying on the sand for hours, eating late and long seafood dinners with key lime pie, sleeping in as late as I wanted in the morning. These experiences are tabled, for the time being (at least until someone volunteers to watch the kids for the weekend!) But the real challenge, as I see it, is not that I can not enjoy a relaxing child-free vacation. The challenge is how can I access that vacation mind within the life I currently live?

This question may sound trite to some, but I find it essential to ask. I need breaks from my everyday ways of thinking, planning, organizing, detailing. I crave that spaciousness that often allows for my most creative ideas.

And so the real work is of a more spiritual, mental, and emotional nature. It means finding ways to take mental breaks in the day. A few minutes ago, I sat outside in the sunshine for 10 minutes instead of coming right in to the computer as soon as the baby went down for his nap. I let my mind wander aimlessly in the breeze once the kids are settled (for 3-5 minutes) at the playground. I luxuriate on those days that I get to stay in bed until 7am, and learn to see that time as a late hour. These mini-vacations are not a luxury, but an absolute necessity towards my overall well-being.

As my son said many times over our family trip when trying something new, “I like it, but I have never done it before.” Family vacations? I say we try to like them for what they are, instead of disliking them for what they are not. And vacation mind? I think we must find ways to really vacate our everyday busy minds, and do so daily.